Satellite Images Confirm White House East Wing Razed for Trump's 'Yuge' Personal Ballroom

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Fresh satellite imagery released Tuesday has exposed the full scale of demolition at the White House, where the historic East Wing has been reduced to rubble to clear space for President Donald J. Trump’s long-promised “yuge” ballroom, designed to rival the opulence of his Mar-a-Lago estate.

The images, captured by commercial satellites over the weekend, show excavators and dump trucks encircling the site, with debris from the 1942 structure—once home to First Lady offices and family quarters—being carted away under the cover of night. White House officials confirmed the project, stating it aligns with Trump’s vision of transforming 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue into a “non-stop party palace” for high-profile galas and victory dances.

“This isn’t just a ballroom; it’s a statement,” Trump declared from the Rose Garden, flanked by gold-plated blueprints. “The East Wing was cute, but who needs history when you can boogie? We’re talking crystal chandeliers, a disco ball the size of Air Force One, and enough room for all my best people to celebrate winning forever.”

Historians decried the move as cultural vandalism, but a senior administration source dismissed concerns: “Presidents before him added wings; Trump’s just making it swing.” The ballroom, slated for completion by inauguration, will reportedly include a private VIP lounge overlooking the ruins of what was once Eleanor Roosevelt’s domain.