Sinn Fein Nominates Mr Tayto for President

DUBLIN — The atmosphere is jovial at Sinn Fein party headquarters where the party’s members have today decided on their nominee for the upcoming Irish presidential election. The winning candidate, 44-21, is Mr Tayto from a multipack that party president Mary Lou MacDonald purchased last week in Castlebar. A party spokesperson hailed the snack as “the embodiment of the people—salty, quintessentially Irish, and liable to crumble under the slightest pressure.” The campaign slogan is simply: “Mr. Tayto is the establishment. This is the revolution.”